Saturday, March 25, 2006
why is the tinge of pain still there
when i heard things bt you
when i thought i haf long gotten over you
when i thought you were a mere part of my fond memories
[or rather you were supposed to be]
was it more of a habit
that i haf gotten so used to the fact that i am fond of u
that i simply havent learn how to let go.
*shrugs*
i guEss it doesn't matter does it?
oh well,
IT DOESN'T.
anD myee all-time favouritedun cry cus' it's oversmile cus it happenedlife goes on (:
she misses life as a toddler
Friday, March 24, 2006
this was one of my topmost favourite back in JC.
anD i think i still like it
after a year(:
So Yesterday - hilary duff
You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus:]
If it's over, let it go andCome tomorrow it will seemSo yesterday, so yesterdayI'm just a bird that's already flown awayLaugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay
You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus]
If you're over me, I'm already over youIf it's all been done, what is left to doHow can you hang up if the line is deadIf you wanna walk, I'm a step aheadIf you're moving on, I'm already goneIf the light is off then it isn't onAt least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus 2X]
she misses life as a toddler
Saturday, March 18, 2006
it's realli terrible
so horrible anD awful that it's way beyond description
it's just like this whole depression thingy [no, it's
NOT PMS]
as though the whole world just crashed on mi
i dun noe wuD's wrong with mi these few daes
buT i was so upset anD tired mentally
that i didnt even bother to dress up fer work that dae
anD according to wei wei, that's a very big issue.
which is kinda true lah
considering the fact that i'm vain beyond cure
eeks. this is just so irritating.
at this rate i'm going, i think i'm gonna break down
soon real soon
i'm trying very hard not to go clubbing
cus like wuD i said, its dumb to go when one's feeling down.
grrr.. wuDever.
she misses life as a toddler
*roll eyes*
wuDever. not as though it matters anw.
i just dun feel like talking right now.
dun ask mi if i'm alright.
cus seriously, i am not.
leave mi alone.
life sucks to the
max
she misses life as a toddler
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
sometimes, i just wish we have gone further than where we stoppedeven if it meant just that little bitit's good enough to make mi smile.
she misses life as a toddler
Monday, March 13, 2006
i tink it's alright to go clubbing
buT i aint exactly sure it's appropriate to club when one's feeling down
as in it's realli dumb to club when you are feeling upset
anD cry the next morning when u find that you are back to sQuare one.
YES. no doubt. it takes things off ya mind during that period of time
buT it realli feels terrible the next morning.
oh well, i wouldnt sae that everyone's like that.
buT at least i am.
that's something i neva understood
why do people go ahead w/ things
when they know it hurts in the first place
when they noe it's dumb in the first place.
so does that make mi stupid?
since i'm one of them?
conclude as u deem fit.
she misses life as a toddler
Saturday, March 11, 2006
went to SIM open house w/ mc toDae.
was asking fer direction to some LT anD the person actualli replied in hokkien.
i almost fainted there -_-"
like of all language,
KOKKIEN in a school.
thanks alot =/
dun laugh. it's nat farni LAH.
eeks!
anw, other than that, i'm feeling great. neva in myee entire life have i been so motivated anD so sure of wud i want fer myself. after the visit to SIM open house toDae, i'm more certain than ever that business is wuD i wanna pursue. anD it's RMIT's BBM degree that i want (:
was listening through the talks anD stuff. it suddenly occurred to mi that this realistic world works in such a way that it's all about making yourself sound convincing. i mean i have no doubt that the other degrees that RMIT has to offer are just as good. buT i guess the speakers were just not convincing enough. there's this point brought up by one of the graduates w/ i thought made absolute sense. gone were the daes when u just go fer an interview, sit there, wait fer them to ask you bt ya strengths and weaknesses anD expect to be employed. in todae's world, the company will actually challenge you w/ case study anD expect you to present them w/ solutions anD show them wuD you haf got to offer. anD thats why it's no longer the degree that matters. it's wuD you do while achieving that deegree that determines if u get the job ultimately. i thought that makes alot of sense. duh. it came from my dream guy. wuD u expect. hahaa!
anD yes. i actualli saw myee dream guy w/ the perfect tan!! omgawd. YES. i'm gushing over guys again. this is getting mi so excited. he's actualli the guest speaker fer BBM's talk. anD i just love his confidence(: perhaps the onli thing that he lacks is that he's not a "christmas tree". heh, buT i guess that doesnt realli matter. *grinx
anD i'm kinda surprised when mc actualli told mi that good looking guys no longer exciTe her. lol.
anw, purleese let mi get into RMIT's BBM course. *praying hard*
RMIT's BBM degree RMIT's BBM degree RMIT's BBM degree RMIT's BBM degreeRMIT's BBM degree...
..
.
she misses life as a toddler
would you rather die yourself or have 10 random people in the world die?10 of them
What if it were 10,000 people?
meslippery slope argument ['',]
she misses life as a toddler
Friday, March 10, 2006
i'm not your slave alrights
not someone you run to
when your boyfriend is
not availablenot someone you turn to
only when u need help
"can you go w/ mi cus i'm alone. but i cant confirm anithing yet"
WHAT CRAP
CRAP CRAP CRAP!u should noe better
than to step into my zone of CCY's principles
i'm very intolerant when it cums to my principles
get this clear:
I DUNCH LIKE BEING A SPARETYREutter disappointment.
haf u got any idea how much that hurts?
esp someone whom you thought was close to you all along
sTay away from mi
she misses life as a toddler
omgawd! of all people i ran into him.
damn it.
rubby!! i ran into PJ LAH. i am not gonna tease you animore, neh~
karma.
she misses life as a toddler
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
friends?
maybe we were neva close enough to be considered as close pals
anD that brings us a level down -
classmates.
how great=/
she misses life as a toddler
Monday, March 06, 2006
got this off mwachz bloggie
Listen to the third voice 'she' she is running
she is staying
she is flowing
she is aching
she doesnt wana tink
she doesnt wana say
she doesnt wana cry
she doesnt wana feel
she cldnt believe
she cldnt hold
she cldnt stand
she cldnt want
She is not using
she is not playing
she is not joking
she is not lying
Numbing doesnt help
Crying doesnt stop
Emotion doesnt go
Rational doesnt come
she doesnt want sorries
she doesnt want comfort
she doesnt want natural
she doesnt want wrongs
she needs to forget
she needs to control
she needs to focus
she needs to go...
Everything that seems natural may not be right.
Everything that seems gone may still be there
Everything that seems strong may still break
Everything that seems real may be false.
The third voice fades...
she misses life as a toddler
Saturday, March 04, 2006
life goes on(: alrigths. daes have passed after the worst nightmare.
1st march.a fucking O in biology land mi in nowhere among the three local universities.
CCO anD a three in general paper.
YES. this is how badly i haf done fer my A level. i practically screwed up myee As in other words.
the irony: these are the best grades i ever got in myee 2 years of jC life. needless to say, i was upset, depressed, dissappointed, pissed off.. WUDEVER [not as though all these matter anw]. YES i cried. i wld just tear aniwhere anitime kinda thing anD i will be so sleepy anD stop after five minuTes. all these nonsense went on fer 3 daes. i was right at the
bottom of the pit. yet i could not cry. or rather i dunch wan to. at least not in front of mummy. she's worried enough ald. so basically it's just tears hidden beneath the smile. tho i'm suck at acting. she noes LAH. duh.all these are inevitable i guess. after all, i'm a normal being wif sth called feeling anD emotion. i'm upset not because my dreams to enter SMU's dashed. but because i'm not even qualified to enter ONE of the local universities! YES. can you imagine that? not even the dumping grounds in local universities. anD i cant believe that my worst dream- to end up in SIM actually came true.
to retake or not to retake. the question wldnt stop revolving round in my head. myee daddy wans mi to give it another shot while myee mummy doesnt wan mi to. she's aware of how traumatising all the preparations can get. the ultimate decision still lies w/ mi though. i neva had to make such major decision in life. anD now that myee grades haf become reality, i guess i wld just haf to.
i wanted to retake. to at least secure a place in one of the local universities. oh wells, after all that was myee aim when i chose jc over poly 2 years ago. at least i could lighten my parents' burden that way. at least they wldnt haf to fork out the extra cash fer myee education that way. myee daddy doesnt print notes alrights. wud's more i haf myee dear brother to think of. no way am i gonna let him stop at diploma. he cant get aniwhere w that LAH. but then again, turning back anD changing wud's already a reality just seem so wrong to mi. i haf no idea why. but it just didnt seem right to "undo" fate. i would much prefer to move on from where i am anD learn from there. u fall anD u get up from where u fell. yep, u get the idea. at least i feel that it's better off than turning back to beautify my A cert. wud's more, there's no guarantee that i wld do better the next time round. i'm not even sure i haf the strength anD determination to go thru all the shit agn. alrites, i dun even noe fer myself if it's just yet another excuse of mine to escape frm that tramautising period buT i am about 70 percent sure i'm nat gonna retake.
anD to some ppl, spare mi those sympathetic look on ya face. in case u dun noe, it hurts terribly. like "omg, so poor thing that you cant enter the local university".
fuck off.
oh yes, thanks to all that haf been there fer mi(: u guys rawk! special thanks to daddy, mummy, terence, lovely charlene, rubby, xixxi, xue, mwachz, wei wei, weiQi, aunt...
anw, like wuD i alwix said, fer every setback, there has got to be sth you learn from. we cant expect things to alwix go our way. we wldnt noe wud's happiness if we dun experience unhappiness.so just pick yourself up anD
life goes on (:
she misses life as a toddler
